Neues Rathaus

We come up the back steps of Ratskeller and McBurger is now picking at gum that’s stuck to his arm. He’s turning green. His clothes are starting to rip, “Fuck this fucking shit! Ahhg it’s stuck in my arm hairs!” That hostel bed really did a number on him. A gross one. 

We exit Ratskeller into a Neo-Gothic square behind the town hall

Complete with creepy busts up the walls

“Should we just try the door see if it’s open?”, “Yeah, why not?”

It’s open. Let’s investigate. Wow, cool arched ceilings and ornate columns. Old frescoes. What’s going on in here?

We go up the stairs and it expands into a large open room with adjoining corridors. “Well this place is epic. Where to?”, “I dunno. Take a right?”, “Yep.”

“Ahh what the fuck, this place is insane!”, “Yeah, where is everyone? Are we supposed to be in here?”, “Wouldn’t they have locked it?”, “Let’s see what we can find.”

We cross the immaculate interior of the Neues Rathaus and start to find various government wings and internal offices. It’s starting to get a little too stuffy. Getting the ‘who-the-fuck-r-u’ looks from the staff. Time to bounce.

We find a spiral staircase and take it up to the next floor. It’s another huge open room like the first one we’d come to. Up again. Same. Up again. Same. 9th floor. Ok, no more floors. Take another right and we find a small room with a security gate and an elevator. We’re on the case…

Walk up to the folks at the gate. Man and a Woman in uniform. Security types. Agents, but not ours. They’re chatting among themselves, one has a name tag ‘Monica’. “Hello, Monica”, “Hi guys, what’s up?”, ‘What’s going on back there?”, “Back here? Behind this Table? Oh it’s very interesting back here”, “Do we need to go through this metal detector?”, “Yes, of courses. You can’t just come behind The Table with weapons, come on…”

Fuck. It’s that point in the game when you wonder if the DM is just going to make you drop all your gear because you’re too OP and they wanna hard reset on your weapons and armor to re-balance things and make it challenging again. The detectives exchange an insightful glance and shrug. Yeah, sure. We’re OP. We’ll figure it out. And we drop an arsenal of +5 weaponry like you wouldn’t believe knowing that we’re gonna start with fucking potato peelers after this. But whatever. Make it interesting, Monica. If that is your real name.

“Very good, right this way gentleman.” And Monica leads us around the corner to an elevator. “Ok, where does it go?”, “It goes up”, “Up?”, “Yes, up. You can go up, right?” Exchange a quick glance. Agreed. “We can go up”, “Have fun!”

The elevator has one button with no number on it. Alright we’ll go there.

The elevator opens to the worried faces of two tourists all too eager to get in. That’s not how elevators work fishies, get out the way. They step to the side and we pass through to the small enclosed balcony of a tall tower overlooking the city. It’s cold and windy, hence the tourists anxiousness to get on the ellie. But the view is…

Doesn’t really matter what side of the tower you’re on. This city looks good 360.

There are four fenced in parapets to view the city from. None of them disappoint. Munich, you sexy.

McBurger, quit hogging the parapet with your gummy arms.

But then Monica’s real motive unfolds as we look down and realize where we really are. The center of the maze.

That’s some real Westworld shit there, Monica. But what does it mean? I didn’t think the maze was even meant for us. Ok, we found the clue we’d left Tallinn to find. Time to move on.

We go back down the elevator and find Monica behind ‘The Table’. As expected, all of our weapons have been confiscated and all that’s left for us is a potato peeler, a paper weight +1, and one of those janky children’s Swiss army knives you get out of a cracker jacks box that is definitely going to break after its first use. Great. Reset and re-balance, yeah yeah yeah. We begrudgingly take the new tools wordlessly and continue back into the Neues Rathaus a little more wary than before.

On the way out we pass by some stained-glass prophecies that we’re supposed to find mixed foreshadowing in but we’re too riled to decipher it.

Is this a sloth? A bear? Fuck, nothing makes sense any more. We’ve gotta get out of here.

Do these lion faucets actually work? They do. Water’s cold, clean and fresh (HP +2).

How the hell do we get out of this place?

Found it.

Ok, the Neues Rathaus is massive and beautiful. Incredible tower view. Glad we stumbled in here.

We’ve found the next piece of the puzzle, let’s see where it takes us.

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