Residenz München

Back to the streets and the fancy motif is maintained.  Even mundane establishments like doner kebab shops and Rotten Ronnie’s are in pretty snazzy digs.

It’s a drizzly day though and something indoors sounds about right, so we head toward something called the “Residenz”.  We arrive in the Max-Joseph-Platz, a square with the National Theatre Munich…

… and the Residenz …

The Residenz is the former royal palace of the Bavarian monarchy, specifically the House of Wittelbach.

There are also several coffee shops so we hit them up for some cappucinos.  I’m feeling like hot garbage and getting worse, no energy, guts are shot, still finding bits of gum stuck here and there from my fucked up sheets in the hostel last night.  Hopefully caffeining up sorts it a bit.

Inside we’re immediately stopped – no backpacks and no drinks.  Well lah di da.  We chug our caps and I rent a locker to throw my bag into.  As we start going in there are some fancy statues in shallow alcoves, I think they’re Hercules but the first one could be Ron Perlman

Then we walk into this hallway.  pppppppfffffftttt what?  There are busts of nobility along the sides, religious-themed painted ceilings, and exquisite carvings at both ends.

We turn another corner and it’s a cornucopia of art, be it paintings, Japanese porcelain…

… or whatever the hell this thing is.  I really have no idea what it is, or what it’s supposed to do, other than be fancy.

Standards of beauty and style have changed drastically over the years, and while I don’t know what’s going on with her hat, I think we can all agree that this is a timeless rack:

This place is massive and it’s not entirely straightforward, there seem to be multiple routes and I’ve got no idea if we’re missing things, but I’m guessing we are.  Virtually every single room has been maintained in classical gilded style, I think this balcony overlooking a performance space might’ve been the only room in the whole place that wasn’t max baller:

Even the halls between the rooms are overrun with works of art:

The gold wallpaper, drapes and chandelier are pretty baller, don’t know about the bed though, could probably only fit one or maybe two 18th-c. powder-wigged syphilitic noblewomen in there at once, not so baller

Shall we visit the harp room

These rooms are ridiculous, but apparently they’re not just collections of old, expensive stuff, they’re more or less in the state they were used by the monarchs at various times back in the day.

Here’s a portrait of one of the old-timey crew.  I remarked that he bears a resemblance to Murphy, but Murphy wears fancier ribbons on his slippers

Yeaaaahhh boyyeeeeeeeeeee

*record scratch*

*freeze frame*

Yup, that’s me.  You’re probably wondering how I ended up in this situation.

It can’t be stressed enough how pimped out this place is.  Gold in every room.  Chandeliers in every room.  Priceless art in every room.

This bed is more like it, I like the fence between the audience and the participants

Well, that was pretty cool, and even though we almost certainly missed a few parts, baller old-timey furniture and art can only keep me engaged for so long.  Leaving the gardens we walk onto the Odeonsplatz, a plaza surrounded by more fancy old-timey joints.  There are groups of what appear to be college students drinking beer, one of them has a whole crate of beer and they’re booing another group passing by.  And they’re cranking Snow’s “Informer”??  I licky boom boom down indeed

One of the fancy joints is the Theatine Church, a 17th-c. Baroque-style Catholic church:

Also in the square is the Feldherrnhalle, which is modeled after the Loggia del Lanzi in Florence.  There’s nothing indicating this as far as I can tell at the time, but reading up on it later I find it was the site of the last battle that ended Hitler’s Beer Hall Putsch in 1923.

Behind the Residenz is the Hofgarten, public gardens that were once part of the palace, we take a stroll to check them out.

Alright Munich, you big beautiful bitch, time to plan our escape. Gotta figure out a way to get to Innsbruck, Austria. We spin back towards Jaeger’s.

Takes us through another statue-laden park

Max Joseph Pettenkofer, ennobled in 1883 as Max Joseph von Pettenkofer (3 December 1818 – 10 February 1901) was a Bavarian chemist and hygienist. He is known for his work in practical hygiene, as an apostle of good water, fresh air and proper sewage disposal.

Ahh dude, quit spitting on me! Shit’s gross!


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