Trakai Island Castle

The castle is super nice and the weather couldn’t be any better.

This beauty is for Murphy’s mom

And one for Queenie too

On the walk across the bridge in is a guy with a boat – super enthusiastic, he says “Hey guys, get on the boat! This is going to be the BEST TRIP EVER! We leave in FIVE MINUTES, you have to get on NOW!” Haha it would be a nice day for a boat ride, maybe on the way back.

Next to the bridge is an accordion player playing seasonally inappropriate renditions of Christmas tunes like Jingle Bells, and some guy is giving it his all to knock out like fifty consecutive push-ups while his girlfriend makes a video of it.

We pass through the front gates and there are tables set up with old-timey crafts like baskets and such set up in the courtyard

There are also two torture devices – the stocks and an iron cage.

We follow some stairs up and across the drawbridge into the castle

We go through it in kinda the wrong order cause there are some jabronis in a tour group mucking it up. The whole place is covered in artwork (presumably reproduction?) and many of the windows are stained glass.

These are 100% reproductions, as is most of the castle besides the foundations and some of the walls. A section of the castle describes how it was derelict for hundreds of years following the decline of the Lithuanian Duchy up until the turn of the twentieth century, when an anthropologist took it upon himself to bankroll the restoration. Since then there have been several subsequent rounds of restoration.

Their banner is apparently a horse’s hind quarters…

The traditional flag is a lot better – this is just the national coat of arms:

The armoury had some cool stuff…

An ethnographic section had typical traditional costumes of two of Lithuania’s historically most significant minorities, the Tartars and the Karaims, respectively:

We take the stairs down into the basement where there’s a display of old-ish (but really not that old – like 19th century) dishware:

That pretty much does it for the main castle – there’s a tower but it’s still being restored and isn’t open to the public. As we’re walking across the bridge to the main courtyard we see a film crew and below is is a bunch of fake snow and a guy dressed like a barbarian – he must be hot as balls in that getup:

In the walls of the castle are a series of exhibits consisting of day-to-day old-timey stuff – furniture, cooking stuff, pipes, animal heads, just about everything. Most of it isn’t even Lithuanian in origin – it’s just a bunch of curios and really not that interesting (except the fucking Johnny Blaze up there)

Ohhhh a treasure chest. Should I open it? No way, that’s a fucking mimic. You’re not gonna Dark Souls me. Hmmm what’s in there though?! Could be legendary.. Ahhh … nope. Can’t risk it, too close to my next level

Alright, time to bounce. On our way back across the bridge the guy with the boat entices us again – “Come on guys, we’re just about to leave for the BEST TRIP EVER!” Haha, no thanks buddy, it’s dinner time.

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