On today’s episode of McBurger and Diesel – Doing Shit So You Don’t Have To…
From Agent Fetter’s suggestion, we cross town en route to a bar called Szimpla Kert that is supposedly built in the ruins of an old factory. It’s on a bunch of best bars in the world lists so we’re expecting good things.
McBurger is checking his digimap, “Yo, there’s something nearby called <he points to ‘Elektrotechnikai Múzeum’>. Wanna check it out?”, “Sure why not.” We find the place just a block away from Szimpla Kert. It looks dead. “If this is a kids museum you’re doing three tequila shots at Szimpla Kert”, “Ugh, no way. Maybe two Jaeger.”
We get some intel from the ticket girl at the front. It equates to about five bucks, might as well. We go through the front door and are in a Bauhaus style hallway with original 1900s Art Deco checkered tile flooring. We’re the only ones in here. “This looks like Ayn Rand’s house if she’d decided to be an electrician.”
Alright, what’s going on in here?
An older lady comes over to help us. Being the only ones in here, she seems thrilled. “English hmmmahehehe?” she does this anxious, breathy, fade-away giggle thing when she asks, “Yes, Canadian”, “Oh very nice hmmmahehehe.” Is the ghost giggle a nervous reaction? Just to add to the bizarreness, she starts following closely behind us while we explore the place, pointing at things and explaining them as best she can. “This is original machine hmmmahehehe”, “This style is ahhh ahh Art Deco hmmmahehehe.”
We continue to smile and thank her for the tips. It’s nice that she’s trying so hard to help us and doing her best in English. I’m just really having a hard time keeping it together with that ghostly giggle thing. It’s happening every sentence. But she’s so sweet. Ok, I got this.
Voltage meters hmmmahehehe
Light bulbs hmmmahehehe
This poster describes how to get mini-Rammstein to play in your bathtub water heater
I think the Bioshock developers had a pow-wow in this place before designing the game
Two other guys show up behind us and Ghost Giggler goes over to help them out. “Wow dude, check out these light fixtures. Sooooo… wanna get outta here?”, “Can’t be too much more, let’s just rip through it”, “McBurger and Diesel, going to shit so you don’t have to”, “Haha totally.. hmmmahehehe”, “Oh fuck. Don’t do that.”
MacKay stops to have a ‘Hold My Chains‘ moment
Most of the displays in here don’t even work. We keep flipping switches and nothing happens. Suddenly the older lady is right behind me, “Not a good switch hmmmahehehe”, “Holy shit! Haha you scared the bejeebus out of me!”, “Hmmmahehehe!”
Disco pasta hmmmahehehe
I wish it was Bootsy Collins face in the background of this Telefunken Radio poster.
“Some of these displays belong in the Sex Machines Museum“, “Or we should sneak some of their shit into this museum.”
No entry hmmmahehehe. No problem. This door looks like a bond villain installed an elaborate electro-trap above it.
“Ok, seriously let’s get out of here”, “Should we douche it real quick?”, “Fine. First round’s on you cuz of this though”, “That’s fair.”
Yep, really need that drink now. Over to Szimpla Kert.