Imperial Armory, Vienna

After the Nepal Art Now exhibit we take a turn down another hall in the Museum of Ethnology and find some nice random stuff to kick things off. I think they give a sample of exhibits first which then are expanded on floor by floor.

A travelling version of the Quran on paisley paper. Amazing.

What?! There’s a Scottish town named Paisley? Sorry Kathmandu, you’ve been bumped down the travel list.

A Persian rug with a World map on it from the 1800s.

Oh nice, there’s a musical instrument exhibit on the next floor.

This first floor is dedicated to ethnographical and archaeological artifacts from Asia, Africa, Oceania, and America.

Scenes created in matchbooks

Here’s an old barber shop hairdo sign. “Yes, I’d like to keep the mullet but add the ‘7 Up’ on top. Is that possible?”

Alright, let’s go to Mexico!

Over to the island of Java

Holy Shit! Ok, we’re lost. I don’t know where this could possibly be from. I think this is what the creatures from Bird Box may have actually looked like.

Over to Japan with a nice collection of samurai stuff

Haha what the hell is this? Is this a kite? Please tell me you tie a string to that and fly it as a kite!

We’re lost again

Canada has a small representation, mainly of gloves. The ol gloves, pipes, pistols, picks, purse and moccasin section.

Pretty neat, but we kinda just breeze through it only half paying attention. We’ve been to more archaeological museums than Indian Jones and Lara Croft put together so now we need something extra spicy to whet the appetites. The Archaeological Museum in Istanbul stands out as memorable, for example.

But then we go up a floor and find the…

Imperial Armory

YES! Now we’re talking! All of the armor from all of the dead folks we just met in the Kaisergruft. This is raaaaaaaad!

The floors are insanely squeaky as we poke around. James keeps setting off sensor alarms by leaning in too far to inspect the craftsmanship and take pics. Security guards keep looking down and finger waggling us. A few more and they’re just frowning and shaking their heads. “Hey, these things are sensitive.”

Look at all these beauties. It’s like all the characters from the Dark Souls and Elder Scrolls series were invited to the same orgy and had to leave their coats at the door.

Some Assassin’s Creed flashbacks here

Man, this collection of armor is super awesome.

Ahh here we have the original Sunbro Armor. Long before Solaire of Astora became enwrapped with the Hallowing in Lordran, his predecessors wore this armor and would often aid imperiled travelers in jolly cooperation. Praise the sun!

Is this one for lancing? Or burping babies maybe?

These must be roasting on a sunny day. They look badass though. I probably wouldn’t mess with this power trio.

Sweeeet! All the Emperor weapons! This is soooo cool. Bejeweled gold-plated maces!

Cavalry time!

Oh yeah, we saw Maximillian II in the crypt too. Here’s his.. rapid gun?

Here’s Squall’s gunblade from FFVIII.

Nice plumage! If you see this dude coming down the street at you on roller blades it’s game over. You’re fucked.

Some good bulge protection on this one

Evolution of the bulge protection line of armors

And for fancier folk who still require maximum bulge protection. “Pina Colada, Darling?” <cracks coconut on steel bulge>

Warpick and Battle Scourge

The famed Gold-etched Axe of Ferdinand I

Haha here we go..

Sweet stache on this one

Haha whaaaaa

Full platemail and full horse barding. This guy’s a tank

This helmet rules

If Rambo owned a crossbow

Hell yes, that was mighty fantastic. This is quite the museum, really glad we came in here.

On the far side of the building we find the…

Hall of Musical Instruments

Holy Scheit! This is gonna be great too

Sounds good, let’s take a look. Wow, old school

There is a ton of cool instruments in this exhibit. I’ll just let the pics do the talking

No, Jimmy Page was not the first to play the double-necked guitar.

Ahh! This is what that dude was playing on the bridge in Prague! A Hurdy Gurdy. I want one.

 

Play it again, Samantha

Uhh ok, we’re back to guns. Clearly not doing this floor in the right order.

The twin pistols of Franz Joseph, whom we met in the Kaisergruft as well. Nice set

Sniper rifles of yore

Annnnd we each take our quiver-butts to a different floor, take care of business and meet back in the middle for the second or third time in this museum trip.

Killer museum, that was fun. Nepalese culture, artifacts from all over the world, the imperial armory, and rare and unique musical instruments. Super cool. And what a great combo we stumbled into today. Going to the Kaisergruft and seeing the sarcophagi of all the Emperors and Empresses, then coming here to check out all of their weapons and armor. Nailed it.

Sun’s going down and it’s getting on hunger o’clock. It may be time to head back to the Naschmarkt and find some grub by the hostel. Or maybe find something more in line with the Brat diet and work harder towards remedying this shit situation.

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