Uzupis Walkabout

I haze wake to MC Burger yelling at me. “Let’s just get this room again”, “Nope. Gotta keep moving”, “Fuck man I feel terrible. Ears have fluid in them or something”, “Suck it up you maggot!”

Don’t have time to shower, we need to check out. We’re trash beings. Go downstairs and front desk guy offers to stash our bags. Great. When will you be back. We don’t really know. I’m here until 5. Before then for sure

Breakfast time. There’s a spot across the street called Sugamour. They have plush red brothel pillows with the name on them written in cursive. We’re in. Upstairs and grab a seat. Gold cutlery. McSwankyLand. Great menu, shakshouka for sure. MacKay gets a mushroom benny. They leave a dessert menu after we order. Makes sense. Sugamour.

Get some hot roasted recovery beans and water. And water. And some water. James takes a moment to fill in the blanks

Meanwhile, I’m playing GoldenEye or something

Plates land and are real far from disappointing.

We take some time to unhurt and gather travel strength. Great breakfast spot, a bit uppity for us vagrants but a good spot to become human again.

We’re thinking about hitting the Republic of Uzupis today. It’s an area of town known for art and cafes and general wackiness. It declared itself a republic on April fool’s day in 88 and has just been running with it ever since.

Back on the main drag walking by some shops and right there in the window is a McBurger cream dream. A long jacket that’s both camo and high vis at the same time. No way. This exists?! “You could go camo on camo on camo high vis”, “Holy shit!”

“You wanna check it out?”, “Nah man”, “It’s probably 500 bucks”, “Nah.” And we start walking away. “I can’t believe you’re walking away from your dream jacket”, “Yeah me neither actually”, “Let’s go see. You can’t just walk away from that”, “alright, fuck it.”

We go in to check it out. 4400 euros hahahahaa wow. It has some designers name plastered all over it and in giant letters down the back. “If I wasn’t going to be a walking advertisment I’d totally drop five grand on this thing”, “Yeah screw that.”

Walk out and there’s a Brabus G-Class suv sitting out front. A suped up Mercedes decked out for off roading. Sheeeesh some baller shit going on here in Vilnius. This thing’s worth half a mil easy.

Oh there’s the club we were smoking that Gold AK-47 in last night. Hazy times in Helios

Not too far across town we find the Uzupis area. There’s a nice bridge across the river and we spot a sign for the ‘border’

There’s a little gift shop that we go into. “Welcome to Uzupis!” Says a bubbly lady on entry. We look around a bit. You can get a passport stamp here?! Ahhhh I don’t have my passport on me. MacKay does though.

Up the street from the shop is a nice area with cafes and art shops. There are some neat murals down an alley

Up the hill a bit further is a statue of a horn blower with a funny little pig below her

Looks like we take the next left and the Uzupis area is all in here. Walk up the hill and there’s no left. All the way up the hill and there is no street to turn down. Colorful, funky houses up here though

Hmmmm guess we should have taken a left at the Hornblower? Check the map again, “We could be super creepy and go see if there’s a path behind this high school”, “You had me at creepy.”

Yep there’s a path behind the high school. It’s a walkway up that looks across some colorful trees and down on the city

The trail splits off. Ahhh we wanna be going this direction though. We find the double black diamond of walking trails around the corner. Mud, leaves and insanely steep. For some reason we still go for it. “Clearly not the way to go!” James is super pissed we’re doing this. “So stupid man. This is so fucking stupid. Yeah let’s just go break our ankles. Good idea. Stupid!”

This does drop us off right at a beautiful river though. There are people out taking a stroll along it. Vilnius in the fall. Not bad at all.

Oh look at that, we’re also right beside a castle. It’s a steep walk up but probably a good view up there. James isn’t having it, he’s still simmering from the mud chute.

“I’ll be right back.” It’s a castle, I’m definitely going. I rush up the steep slope. Try to hurry so MacKranky isn’t waiting too long. This gets the heart pumping for sure.

Most of the castle is roped off for renovations and not accessible but the view here across the city and river is spectacular.

There’s a tower you can pay 5 euro and go up but I don’t think I need three more stories to get a better view.

I boogie back down and MacKay is waiting at the bottom. “Great view up there. Some buildings below the castle over here on the left”, “Let’s do it.”

It’s the national museum. Massive complex but I think we’re a bit museum’d out.

Beside it is a large church. Let’s take a peak

Incense burning and a white robed priest whispering into a mic. We don’t linger. Back out and across the same square we saw lit up last night

Not a bad walkabout. Really pretty city. May be time for a coffee break. We find the old town strip and there are a bunch of cafes to choose from

We sit at a table outside caffeine roasters. Still in rough shape today. “It would be amazing to just get 8 hours of sleep”, “Yeah for sure. Wow. This peppermint latte is excellent”

We backtrack to Mikalo House. There’s a girl playing classical music on an open harpsichord on the sidewalk. Back passed the high vis camo jacket, “You sure?”

We grab our bags and thank our host for a great stay and mosey over to the train station. Walk passed this pretty church one more time

Any trains to Kaunas? No more today, but there are buses. Over to the bus station. One leaves in 15 minutes. Perfect. It’s five bucks. Double perfect.

Driving through the rain passed the yellow leaves. Feels like Gold and Grey would be an appropriate album to listen to.

Well Vilnius checks out. Gorgeous city, cheap, walkable, a castle, a republic, good food, fun old town area and a killer bar scene. Chalk that up as a badass capital city. Lithuania is a blast so far, let’s see what Kaunas is all about.

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