Wake up in the sex bed and throw on some morn porn. What? There’s a whole Hollywood section that we didn’t see lat night? Star Wars: A New Hole? In the first scene when Darth Vader corners Princess Leia on the frigate he shows her the ‘dark side of the force’. Vader is played by Lexington Steel. Funny stuff. We let this roll while we pack up our things and shower up. A scene from the equally ridiculous Avengers XXX has Hawkeye banging Black Widow with some good banter.

We leave our bags with the hot hostesses at the Bali An and hit the streets for some breakfast. We’ve got some time to kill today before the flight so we thought we’d go back to check out the Dotonbori area.

We pass by Miles cafe and think about going in for a redo. Nah, let’s find another good spot. We spot a place with all sorts of plastic food out front. Lots of places do this here to show you samples of the food they serve. This place has really outdone itself in this department.

We go in and have a seat. The menu says we can get completely stuffed for about 9 bucks

Wow. They aren’t kidding. The portions are extreme, look at this monster! Queenie’s ‘breakfast’ is spaghetti, omelette, rice, curry and beef. I get two gratins. It’s way too much food. This reminds me of what Meiji the cocktail adviser from Feel Good in Kyoto was saying about portions in Osaka being huge

We grub down and get back into the Dotonbori mix. Might be time for a last day shopping spree.

We take a stroll around the area. you can pretty much find anything here it seems. Osaka is like having everything in Tokyo in a more condensed area.

Ahhhh what’s this about haha

We pass by a place where you can fish indoors. It’s catch and release.

The giant ferris wheel is surrounding a gigantic tax free shop.

We spot a photo booth place and Queenie wants to go in. This is amazing. There’s a place to get dolled up in front of mirrors before your big shoot.

I read this wrong the first 2 times

Alright let’s do this. First we pick a couple of digital avatars. I choose to be female because I think it’ll be funny. You get 4 pics and they prompt you with pose suggestions for each one. Then you can go back and doctor them up with stickers and effects. It’s kind of awesome actually. A lot of work for 4 mini pics but I spend a few minutes making a Xmas Card that I’m really proud of (tis the season).

I was right. I’m gonna look sooooo goooooood!

We can’t really figure out how to get the digital versions of the pictures though. They send an email with them but the links keep sending us to ads and shit. I take a pic of the Xmas card just in case we don’t figure it out. The machine added a bunch of makeup to mine since I chose to be female I guess. Are our eyes bigger?

Anyways, I haven’t looked this good in years! We’re definitely sending this to all our friends this Xmas.

Ok, let’s try to track down those Attack On Titan figures I couldn’t find in Akiba. We go to an info booth and a helpful tourist guide girl gives us directions to a place called Jungle. Cheers! We’re on the case…

We pass by the street food area. Probably should have gotten ‘breakfast’ here. These look smacktacular.

Shrimp Whopper!!

This place must be good, there’s a line out the door down the street.

We also find a whole street dedicated to selling the plastic food pieces. You can mix and match your whole menu here.

Oh Queebs we need this tanuki pillow! “We don’t need the tanuki pillow”, “What?! How can you say that!”, “You wanna carry this around all day and at the airport?”, “Yeeeeeeeaaaaahhh! Ok, no I don’t. It’s also 50 bucks

Ok, it looks like we’re in the right area. I remember we passed by one of these back in Hiroshima

Walking over to this place and another crew in Mario Karts go by. Ahhh we should have rented those!

That’s cool, they have the poster from that old movie I starred in.

Lightsaber Chop Sticks?!! Yesssh pleasssh!

Found Jungle! They have everything. Except AoT figures. There is a whole racy section with Adult figures though.

Super Mechaodzilla is only a measly 1200 bucks

Frame Arts looks kinda neat

We pass by an arcade that is pumping. There are people in waiting seats to play some of the games. Never seen that before. They take their gaming seriously here. The row in the back is some sort of guitar hero type game but piano. These guys are amazingly good at it. One guy in white gloves is just crushing it.

Ok Colossal Titan fail and we’re running out of time. We spin back through a few alleys and find a lantern shop. Shit! These are crazy expensive. Should have totally bought one from that nice old lantern maker back in Onomichi.

We get back to the Bali An Love Hotel and grab our bags. Time to leave Japan for real now. On the way out we pass by two older transvestites that are super dolled up on their way to check in. They give us a polite “Hellooooo” as we pass, “Have fun!”

We take the metro to the monorail. The sun is going down. It’s the exact opposite of when we first arrived during sunrise on this same monorail. Full circle. See if we can find any more Fruit Zombies.