The Kasane 500

The mission now is to ball the jack from Kasane back to Thobolos at faster than light speed. We need to somehow get back there before the sun is completely down so there’s time for a game drive with Deon. It always turns into a race. Fortunately for us there is a road, which seems to be in unusually good condition, right out of Kasane that looks like it skirts the Chobe National Park and gets us… hmmm…. halfway there.

I get Belinda on the A33 and take it past ludicrous speed and into plaid. “Keep your eyes peeled for animals!” I’ve got her up to around 140 and we are just blasting it on the empty road at uncomfortable, redbull-fueled speeds. The full double diesel tanks makes the truck a little swooshy on the turns with a late weight shift in the booty. I’ll have to take that into account.

After about 15 minutes it turns into the straightest, most majestic road we’ve seen in… a month? With no animals to clutter the mix we’re gaining ground like crazy.

We get about halfway in no time and are back at the Ngoma bridge and gate where we entered the park earlier in the day. “We’re killing it!” I pull a left onto the sand road and Belinda’s windshield wipers do a single swipe. Haha classic. The truck starts bumping and shimmying on the dirt and sand. We’re jostling in our seats and getting biffed around a bit. Best solution here is more speed methinks.

Turns out if I skirt the lip of sand near the edge of the road and keep the left inner tires on the raised sand near the middle of the road there’s more traction and we can go faster. I can kind of angle the wheels just off-center and keep catching and propelling. The truck jumps out every once in a while and starts to drift off road to the right, but I get it into a surf, drift, correct cadence that has us careening along the sand road at a glorious clip. This is awesome.

Almost to the lodge and suddenly elephants pop out of the trees on both sides beside us, “Whoa shit!” we swerve into a sandy little fishtail action. Instinct says hit the brakes but we need to get past them. I counter the swaggle and we dance through the middle as the elephants crowd the road behind us. “Haha fuck, boys!” I look back in the rearview mirror with a shit eating grin. Everyone is gripping the holy fuck bars with anxiety riddled faces. Hmm.. am I the only one enjoying all this? I am the only one with wings I guess. Should have dumped Redbulls in everyone’s mugs. “Almost there, fellas. Almost there.”

We pull into Thobolos and just go back to our same camp spot from yesterday. Everyone is quick to exit the cab of the truck. Mark shakes his head, “Well, that was terrifying.” “Really? I was having a blast.” “Oh ya, I have every confidence in your driving. We were just… going really fast through there.” Peter is examining the truck, worried that the constant clipping of bushes and trees along the more narrow roads is doing a number on the paint job. “All looks good, actually.” “Alright then, let’s grab some beers.”

We get up to the lodge and Deon is on the patio, “Ah, you made it back after all. Good. How was Chobe?” “Unbelievably cool.”

Mark peruses the list of beers available. “Looks like they’ve restocked.” “Probably in case we came back haha.” “Four giant Castle beers?” “Four giant Castle beers.”

We all post up along the railing overlooking the watering hole with our four giant Castle beers. We somehow turned back time and made up enough ground on the “terrifying” drive back to still get here before sunset. The watering hole is just sporting a warthog and the usual hornbills, “Look Maaaaaaaaaaark!”. The larger water reserve in the distance has a small flock of guinea fowl, a few massive storks, some baboons. There’s a giraffe having a hard time stooping low enough to get a drink.

We sit back and take it in. Golden hour in Botswana.

Deon offers us some baobab fruit. “Can’t say I’ve ever tried this.” Kind of chalky on the outside and then surprisingly sweet and like an orangey citrus when you bite into it.  “Oh it’s more tangy than I thought it would be.” “Yes. Can be used as a cough medicine too.” “Baobab hot toddy sounds alright.”

Hearing our voices from below deck, Yonku comes up to join us as well. “Oh you’re back, how nice.” We fill him in on the Chobe River run and the lion kill. “Oooh that sounds like a good drive. Will you be joining us for dinner tonight?” “Oh yeah, for sure.” “Excellent, I’ll make something nice for you guys.” That’s exciting, the food looked good the other night and we’re down to the dregs in the truck since we’ll be crossing into Zambia tomorrow.

Deon jerks his thumb towards the entrance, “The truck is all ready to go if you guys want to do a game drive before it’s too dark.” “Yep, let’s do it.” “Bring a beer if you want. When the sun goes down we’ll go see if those lions are around the giraffe.”

We re-up on beers and pile in the truck.

Game Drive with Deon

Deon takes us West away from Thobolos along the road towards the dead giraffe. He points to a large Baobab tree and takes us over to it. “There’s a tawny eagle in this Baobab. She was giving flying lessons to her young.” He does a lifting motion with his hand, “Raising it up and dropping it. The young one will cry and complain. Finally.. she kept bringing it up..” His hand drifts down like paper on a breeze, “…and it floated back to the nest.”

Deon runs his hand along the massive trunk of the tree. “The salt from the baobab is quite nice and natural. It’s a good healthy substitute.” There’s a sage bush beside. He lifts some of the brush and smells it. “Here, you try.” “Whoa. Smells amazing.” 

Up ahead he points to another tree. We park and hop out.

“Lead wood. The densest wood. The ash makes wonderful toothpaste.” “Oh interesting.” Ya, it makes a good paint too. Reflective. Makes the house 15 degrees cooler. Sinks in water.” He rubs his hand along one side of the trunk, “Elephants rub on it and it’s smooth. Elephant scratching post. They won’t knock this one over. It’s their beauty parlor.”

We head back to the truck. “Ok, let’s check on the lions. They may have had their fill. We’ll see.”

I’m in the back of the truck catching snippets of conversation from Peter and Deon. Peter spots a rabbit. “No, that’s a hare. They run. Longer legs. Rabbits jump. Hare babies are born with eyes open and can run. Rabbit babies are kept in a den and their eyes are closed.”

“Over there, see. Bird plum tree. Perfect tree for leopards to hide in with all that foliage. The one around here loves this tree.” Mark looks back at me quietly and raises his arms up like wtf. Deon just continues like he didn’t just say a thing. “The tree makes fruits that we can harvest in February. Very sweet. They make beer from it too. Really potent. And whiskey. I’ll try to find some for us.”

The sun is almost set now. Deon wants Drisdelle and me to be the eyes in the back. Make sure nothing sneaks up on us. “It’ll be dark soon. We won’t be using a spotlight or anything. The army might think we’re a poacher and they could open fire. Animals are very skittish here too. Don’t want to scare them off.” The shadows are getting thicker amongst the trees and brush. Jamie raises his eyebrows and takes a haul off his beer, “This was a great. idea.”

Deon‘s checking tracks on the road and dung piles while he’s driving along. Drawing lines with his index finger to point out tracks, picking up dung, assessing the scene. We get within sight of the giraffe carcass and Deon stops the truck. “They are definitely still here somewhere. Doesn’t look like vultures have had much more to eat.” He starts forward again slowly. “Lions aren’t picky when it comes to meat. They’ll eat it a few days old. Scavenge. Leopards won’t eat after a day.”

He points down to some paw prints, “These tracks here are very fresh. Very sharp. We probably scared it into the bush.” He looks around then points forward, “I’m going to park at the top of the hill and try to flush them out. Ok this is going to stink badly now. “

The smell from the dead giraffe is already hitting at a distance. Ooof it’s rank. I pull my shemagh up around my nose. This is lit. We’re tracking lions in the dark. With a leopard in the area. Shemagh around the face like a bandit. Half a buzz on. Head like a swivel watching out for animals. It’s too funny. Why would we do this?

Oh wow the smell is so terribly bad. Drisdelle gags a bit. It’s the nastiest thing I’ve ever smelled in my life.

Passed the giraffe and Deon guns it up the hill at max speed all of the sudden. Ya ok, I hold on to the rail and try not to spill my beer. He gets to the top of the hill and spins the truck around to face down on the giraffe. Lights off.

The dust below settles into shadow and we just sit in the dark quietly. Never felt so still. Heightened senses. Ears overly aware. Can basically hear my own heartbeat it’s so quiet. Scanning the area trying to find the lions. Or anything else. Every breeze through the brush or slight cracking sound has us shifting towards the noise, hairs raising on my arms in anticipation. And fear. This is legit scary. Waiting for predators to come out of the darkness beside us.

Suddenly there’s a shape off to the right by a tree behind me. I can feel it. The trunk is shifting in shape. I tap Mark and point in the direction. He nods. I keep checking behind us but am getting drawn back to the shape. There’s something there. Mark points to the same area. Ok it’s definitely there. I spot the red reflection of an eye briefly and it’s gone. No, there it is again! They aren’t by the giraffe. They’re behind us.

I whisper to Mark, “Tell Deon about it.” And he leans forward to quietly relay the information. He immediately starts the truck back up. It’s over. “He knows we’re here. He won’t come out.” I see the reflection of the eyes again. “You think it’s the lion?” “Oh yes, that was him for sure.” “I didn’t hear anything though.” “Oh no, you’d never hear him coming.” Mark tilts his head back in a silent cackle, “Pffft well that’s terrifying.”

We cover our noses with our hands as we pass the putrid giraffe carcass again and drive back to Thobolos.

“Bringing a beer wasn’t a great idea. Now I have to pee.” Jamie does too, “Just go in the bushes. On some lions.” “Well that was fun. We didn’t quite <air quotes> “see” the lions but they were definitely there.” Peter is still worked up a bit, “Ya, that was actually really scary sitting there.” “Phaaa ya, it was.” Everyone is calming down to the same wavelength again. “Sooooo… Honor Bar?” “Haha it’s the best, isn’t it. Glad we came back.”