We finish up our beers by the pool at Urban Camp and walk to Joe’s Beerhouse. It’s only about ten minutes away but with the wounded toe it sure feels longer. The area seems safe enough. For four dudes anyways. Actually, there’s a police check point on the way. Windhoek is a nice looking town. Seems clean and chill. Cool enough for hoodies or a light jacket, it’s a nice limp.

We get to Joe’s Beerhouse and it is huge. There’s a large yellow wall around it and a parking lot beside. We go through the main entrance and down an arched hallway then it opens up into a gigantic open space with multiple seating areas, a thatched roof bar section, indoor ponds, fountains and all manner of travelling, hunting, and farming knickknacks on the walls. There are a ton of people in here and it doesn’t seem to have a problem accommodating them all. The place is booming. There’s a tricked out, road tripper mini cooper in the back lit up with lights.

We find a server and she leads us to a long table around the side, Oktoberfest style seating, wherever there’s an open spot. We order some beers while taking in the extensive menu of exotic gooides. This place looks insane.

Oryx Carpaccio? Yes, please

(1 usd is around 15 Namibian dollars)

With kudu, springbok, zebra, crocodile and oryx on the bill I don’t really know where to begin. We’ll have to tag team this thing. Or just go for the Bushman Sosatie and get them all, I guess.

Ahh this section explains the mini cooper in the back. Cool story, totally Mongol Rally style.

Expecting a mega meat feast, our sommelier detective, Mark, orders us a bottle of ze red.

We get the meat parade started with a marinated, smoked kudu and an oryx carpaccio. The presentation and quality of the dishes is top shelf. Joe’s Beerhouse lives up to the hype already.

These are both outstanding dishes. Holy shit.

Servers start bringing out the entre plates and our mouths hit the table like looney tunes characters.

We have found braai heaven.

My Bushman’s Sosatie lands in front of me and it looks like the meat bonanza you can only dream of

It comes with a legend to pair up with the meats so you know which one you’re on. I wonder if this is like a beer flight, light to dark.

Spoiler alert: It’s not

I bite into the Springbok. Wow, is it great. Lighter than a beef steak, moist and tender. It’s cooked perfectly and just melts away. This may be the new best meat I’ve ever had. Next up is the Oryx. The carpaccio was just a citrusy tease, this chunk is earthy. It’s like beef if you mixed a tad bit of liver into it. Num. I mix in some veggies. Oh, the corn is soaked in all the meat juices or something. Ahh it’s the best. Potatoes are perfect. Whoa, the mango-chili sauce packs a punch too. What is going on here!

Ok, time for the Zebra. Ohh unexpected. It’s light like the Springbok, slightly grassy and a hint of lemon on it. Not tough at all (unlike the horse meat we’d had in Kazakhstan, but that’s a story for another time). It is perfectly done as well. Damn. Might be the best so far. I dunno, that Springbok though. On to the Crocodile. It pulls apart like a fish fillet but tastes more like a pork-chicken hybrid. I mix things up with the Serrano. Ha, quite the zing on that too. I finish the journey with the Kudu. It’s similar to the springbok as well but a bit more gamey. Lighter than venison and less chewy. 

Well lock it up folks, I don’t know if we can top this one. Joe’s Beerhouse, you splendid bastard. This is the rare occasion that the hype doesn’t even live up to the real thing. Dining divinity.

We finish up our wine and round things out with some more beers. Fucking fabulous feast. We sort payment out with the servers, who were also excellent, grab our beers and make our way out to the open air section with the thatched bar. Let’s see if we can meet some locals.