The Beet, The Bee, and The Geisha

Half cut on double rums and we’re in the room suiting up in our new Halloween gear. MacKay is still cursing me for not only convincing him to go out, but also to wear a none too modest bee outfit. Drisdelle is wielding a knife on a little too many drinks. He makes a couple of sloppy cuts in the sides of the beet face and throws it on his torso over a pair of shorts.

MacKay puts his hands in the air and like a couple of giggling coed girls I pull the tight bikini top over his elbows and wiggle it down over his man boobs (not sure why we didn’t video this). The top is super tight. Squishing his business tight. His heroic tummy juts out prominently and once in a while a man tit slips out of the taught striped top. Add the bee antennae and slip the tutu over his camo shorts (had to be some camo in there somewhere) and we’re ready to hit up the Loki bar again. Quick review in the hostel room window reflection, oh fuck.. what have we done?

The Beet, the Bee, and the Geisha burst up the back stairs to the bar with vigor and confidence. The clamor has exponentially increased since our costume jaunt out in the streets and the place is dinning with drunk freaks. Loki blood bombs are lining the bar. Streamers, flashing lights  YouTube Halloween mix. Slash and Carlton (from fresh prince) are laughing with Jesus at the bar over some drinks.


Our entrance comes with a chorus of laughter and OMGs, mainly due to the outlandishly (in)appropriate and almost naked MacKay. Followed by a second wave of wows and head shaking upon seeing Drisdelle and I. Lots of high fives get doled out and people want pics of the newcomers. Flash click flash alright we need drinks in order to maintain the bravado that these costumes demand… oh wait, there’s a makeup guy in here.

The boys hit the bar for more double rum and cokes (2 for 1 happy hour, hence the doubles), and i sit in a chair while a tatted up guy with a glorious mullet named Robbie air brushes my face with white and pink face paint spray. A hot assistant looks up geisha examples on her iPad and Robbie just knocks it out of the park.


Now in fine form and getting lambasted off doubles we’re mingling with a Shepard, a devil girl, some sexy cats, a witch, a dirty zebra, zombies, some guy with half a face, a paratrooper, some cartoon characters, vampires, wonder woman, and a host of miscellaneous costume parts and wigs mis-mashed into last minute costume montages.








We’re spinning in a whirlwind of drinkies and social butterfly ADHD throughout the night in all areas of the bar with every other slurring goon around. At one point a sexy girl cop convinces me to dance on the bar and there’s 3-4 of us up there dub stepping our way to silly infamy.  The guys are egging me on while i Geisha shuffle dance and try to keep from taking a header.

Sexy cop and her party of ghouls convinces us to go out to some dance club and see what the rest of La Paz is rocking tonight. We’re in. Gotta hit the room first for IDs and scrank. When we get there Drisdelle starts climbing in bed with his costume on, folding the blankies over him. What the fuck man?! We’re going out! Nope. Bed time. Oh i don’t think so! Geisha elbow drop! Geisha slam! Geisha back drop! Nothing.. he’s not budging. Eyes glazed over like donuts. C’mon man, it’s halloween! Murmur murmur pull covers mumble. “Just leave him i guess” from MacKay. Yeah, i guess so. One last elbow drop kiyaaaah!

We meet sexy cop down in the Loki lobby and MacKay and I pile into a van cab with her crew and are whisked off into the blurry night. We unpile outside of a pumping dance club called Mythology.

It’s about this time of night when all of the double rums start a line up at the liver filtration system and 10 gallons of polluted alchoblood arrives at my brain all at the same time. From here my memory strobes in and out like the blinking lights on the dance floor. We’re in line. Mythology bracelets. Costumes? Open dance. Packed bar. Jager bombs. Yeeeeeow. Geisha dance. Whoa those drinks cost as much as the Swiss watch i bought in the street. Baño. Never peed in a dress before (or have I? (I have)). Flashing. Beats. Bleeps. Blurps. Grinding. Laughing. Bee no rain dance. Mister bee, mister bee. Vampires. Ghouls. We’re outside. Dandy Dancing. Outside. Sidewalk dance. Outside…

Whooooa we’re outside! What are we doing outside? Leaving. Where is everyone? Dunno. Ahhhhh its quiet. And sketchy out here. What? (Bad bad feeling creeping). Hey man, where’d everyone go? I dunno they were right behind us. Ahhhhhh fuck man, this is sketchy out here. Yeah it is. Cab it? Yeah, don’t see any. Walk it? Daaaah, where are we? Dunno. Cab it. Walk to a cab? Ahhhhhhhhh scared to move. Nothing. Fuck, let’s walk it. To a cab? Yeah..

Down a side street to a more happening street I’m really really hoping not to get mugged in my geisha outfit. Embarrassing. We’d heard a few stories of people getting mugged, some in broad daylight. The main takeaway from every story though was not to get too drunk, be walking late at night, somewhere too far from the hostel.. don’t make yourself a target. Yeeeeeaaaah. I’m wasted. Wearing a pink dress. MacKay is almost naked. No idea what time it is but clubs are closing. Dark side street. Perfect.  Geisha quick shuffle. Waiting on the corner. Nothing. Nothing. Fuck. There’s no cabs anywhere. MacKay is bee stomping around on a bee mission. Spot one. Yes! Loki. Yes! Settle in. Safe.

Back at loki we blink up stairs. Bee bed crash. I drain the makeup off my face a black, white, pink neopolitan sink mess. Takes some doing. Faaaaaaawk. So late. Arrrrrrrrg. Crashitty crash crash.