We’ve been closely monitoring and analyzing data we’ve collected during the Mexico leg of the trip. Here are our 100% scientific results:
Tacos – 115
Beer – 294
Margaritas – 25
Tequila – 1.75 litres
Jager – 32 ounces
Refried beans – 18.2lbs
Tortilla chips – 58,008
Czech girls slept with – 0
Books read to completion – 0
Max days in a row James wore the same shirt – 6
Times we camped – 0
Trees sawed down by James snoring – 37
Times we’ve seen the Crack of dawn – 3
Times I’ve seen the Crack of MacKay – 41
Mosquitos hunted down and murdered in the night – 9
Times Murphy spoke french by accident – quatre-vingt-dix-huit
Matador penis sightings – 1
Left blinker stuck on sightings – 54
F’diddles – 17
Times Montezuma got his revenge – 6
Hours spent lost – immeasurable
Hurricanes – 1
Dead baby tally – 12
Cars/Buses/dump trucks w no brake lights – 38%
Times we left the door unlocked over night – 5
Bridges to nowhere – 7
Number of places that need a scenic turnoff – 100%
Number of chupacabra sightings – 2
Topes – 7866557443355322356477889
Mayans sacrificed – 3
Salsa dances – 1
Dead dogs – 22
Breakdowns – 0
Armed robberies committed against us – 0
Armed robberies committed by us – 6
Road games:
Eye Spy
James – 6
Jonathan – 4
Alphabet game
James – 5
Jonathan – 5
Hogs of the Road
James – 100%
Jonathan – 100%
Punch Buggy
James – 1
Jonathan – 14
Car Twister
James – 3
Jonathan – 4
Russian Roulette
James – 1
Jonathan – 0
Despite all of the bitching we’ve done re: topes, bureaucracy, lousy Mexican drivers, toll roads and whatever else riles us up on a particular day, Mexico has been really, really awesome and we both look forward to coming back again someday. With the unexpected party scenes, amazing views – both natural and man-made, cool archaeology sites and killer food, we’re both of the opinion that if you scratch Mexico off the list of places you’d visit because of what you see on the news, you’re really missing out. In almost three weeks here we’ve never felt threatened once (except perhaps by our own poor decision-making). Thanks Mexico!
