Massive Adventure #4

As shown in these collected travel journals, The Adventure Detectives have been putting in some solid investigative work across the globe on a fairly consistent basis. We’ve been on lots of adventures but 3 notably massive ones thus far:

  • The Mongol Rally – Driving from England – Mongolia, 10K miles in a piece of shit car
  • The PARTy – Driving from Nova Scotia to Chile, 10K miles in a pos car (mostly)
  • SEA – Counterclockwise backpack of South East Asia from Thailand to Malaysia

While there is a seemingly endless number of places to travel, only two continents are currently left unexplored on the whole: Africa and Antarctica. Since there aren’t enough bars in Antarctica to support us at this time we’ve set our sights on Africa.

McBurger has been working deep undercover and won’t be joining on the mission. He’s assumed a desk jockey position with the Canadian Government and since he’s relatively new his vacation time is bullshit. However, he did just come back from Adventure Detective assignment up North in Tuktoyuktuk. We’re expecting a full report soon.

To compensate for this missing element I’ve recruited a solid cast of veteran explorers for this ‘season’ of Adventure Detectives:

  • Agent Getz (aka Jamie Drisdelle) – Our sure footed and trusty traveling companion with impeccable memory and chesterfield fashion sense has previously joined us on such epic adventures as the PARTy, We’re Gonna Taiwan On!, SEA, and countless dips into Mexican wine country. (No, we are not brothers)
  • Cumper Coondog (aka Mark Cooney) – While this is his first assignment as a true Adventure Detective, Cooney is well versed in international exploration having netted a Japan ski trip and Grand Canyon river rafting adventure within the last year alone. Also a regular in our over the border mishaps in Mexico, he’s a good guy to have around when the sun is coming up. (No, we are also not brothers)
  • Shigbee Dillwhistle (aka Peter Adams aka P-Peep) – One of the original Adventure Detectives from our legendary Mongol Rally run in 2012. Responsible for coining the names McBurger and Diesel on one super fucked up night in Barnaul (but that’s a story for another time). A long overdue re-inclusion in the international shenanigans. (Not brothers either, but probably won’t get asked every day like the other two).

The African Un-route

As per our Adventure Detective prerogative we have done very little research, acquired no accommodations, tours or vehicles, and generally have no set plans whatsoever. We have flights into South Africa and none out of anywhere but I’m sure everything will work out, swimmingly or otherwise. By having no plans our options are limitless and we can’t be upset if they don’t work out. This allows us to tailor the trip as we go, staying longer in the places we like and leaving quickly from the ones we don’t.

That being said, our loose ‘itinerary’ is to all meet up in Cape Town and make our way North to Namibia, see some stuff, then go East through Botswana, Zambia and Malawi figuring out what to do along the way. We’d like to get to Tanzania but it seems fairly ambitious at this point considering the vastness and radness of the previously mentioned countries. That being said we’ve done stupider shit before over longer distances so we’re not ruling it out just yet either.

I’ll add a list of things we’d like to see here. Knowing the nature of these trips it should be fun to compare with a list of what we actually got to see by the end:

  • Cape Town – Sounds badass, I have a contact there I haven’t seen in 15 years.
  • Skeleton Coast – Shipwrecks in the desert, enough said
  • Kalahari Desert – Massive deserscape with rare flora, fauna and animals
  • Okavango Delta – Water reserve that animals migrate to from all over the continent
  • Victoria Falls – Largest waterfall on Planet Earth. Bonus points for Devil’s Pool
  • Chobe – Biologically diverse National Park with a large elephant population
  • South Luangwa / Kafue – National Parks in Zambia we received good intel on
  • Lake Malawi – Third largest lake in Africa, most species of fish in any lake anywhere
  • Zanzibar – What’s your favorite dish?
  • Serengeti – Animal mecca
  • Kilimanjaro – Tallest peak in Africa that is also not a bitch to climb

Peter and I are leaving earlier than Drisdelle / Cooney and we’ll meet up with them in Cape Town. In tbetween, we’ll be trying to accomplish the following:

  • Fly into Manchester on Independence Day
  • Go to Peter’s hometown of Wakefield and… I don’t know what for a few days
  • Hop a flight to Dubai, Peter’s sister lives there, hang for a few more days
  • Fly to Johanesburg, hook up w a Mongol Rally contact
  • Then… don’t really know. We’ll have 6 days until the Cape Town meet up point. (Wherever that is)

Another impeccably planned trip with zero chance of error.

This is the first time traveling somewhere that I feel completely ignorant about where I’m going. I have no idea what to expect. Honestly, I didn’t even know the names of the capitals of these places until I started investigating a map of the region. I have high hopes for the animal and scenic aspect of the trip but am equally as interested to dig into the people and culture. Should be equal parts filthy / gorgeous, shocking / enlightening. Hopefully we’ll find some new favorite dishes and fun friends along the way.

We leave tomorrow.

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